10:36 p.m. on a Friday night. I can't believe the time is so near and my whole being seems to wait for it in anticipation. It's been a long time coming but I really haven't given it much thought until now.
This month, and most especially this year, marks two major milestones that I'm quite proud of. At 12:01 a.m. (just about an hour and a half from now), I will turn 50 which seems so surreal. It seems like it was just a couple of days ago that I turned 21.
I actually remember where exactly I was when I turned 21 - Las Vegas, baby! Yes, I was hanging out with high rollers, showgirls, bar maids, and blackjack dealers... My aunts, uncles, and grandma took me there to celebrate my birthday and it was amazing. As I opened the door to go into Caesar's Palace, I visualized the symbolism of metamorphosing from childhood to adulthood. I was now inducted into the mature world of adult entertainment and there was no turning back.
30 and 40 are a little bit of a blur now, probably because of senility setting in, or perhaps not quite as memorable as 21. That's alright, 16 and 18 memories are now completely wiped away from my memory banks.
My Uncle Romulo once told me that our head is nothing more than an empty storage room with two doors. One door remains open so as to let information in, while the other door remains closed and locked to help retain the information. The problem is that as we get older and as we gain more information, somehow the storage room gets really filled up. Eventually, there's too many information being cramped in such a small space that the pressure starts to put stress on the closed door until it finally gives way. As we pile in more information, some of the old information gets pushed out of the other door, and that's why we start to forget. I'm afraid that some of the information that fell out of my storage room also took some common sense with them...
So tonight is my last night of my fourth decade. It feels like it ought to be a right of passage, and perhaps it is in a way. I'm a little hesitant on stepping over to the other side because I liked the 40's. I like the idea of others who took an age and stuck with it - my mom for example was 46 for about four years in a row. At least, every time I asked her on her birthdays how old she was then, she would always answer "46". "But I thought you were 46 last year?!"... "No I wasn't!!!"
"Sam, you're now 50... what are you gonna do now?!"... "I'm going to Disneyland!" The best part is that we're sort of getting in for free, although my wife paid for it through her employer, and that Disney will be charging us $15 for parking. We're just doing our part to keep those happy Disney employees employed. Heaven forbid Disney should do something nice by reducing their pricing for those of us struggling financially. But I'm not one to rant about corporate injustice. After all, it is the happiest place on earth...
At the end of this month is the other milestone and that is my marriage to Didi of twenty years. We've actually been together for twenty two years now and I'm pleased to let everyone know - we're still both alive! It's been the longest that I've actually stuck to anything or anyone in any length of time so for me, this is quite an accomplishment. It's been quite an interesting but quite fulfilling adventure, this marriage. Didi and I have had our ups and downs, as all marriages have, and I'm glad that I'm taking this journey with her. We've shared a lot of tears, through struggles with her mom's illness, challenges with employment, and loss of our pets. We've also equally shared laughter and happiness through our travel vacations, projects around the house, and time with family and friends.
These are the moments that I really cherish as I reflect on the past through the benchmarks of my life, and my time as a married man. I have a special place in my storage bank for these time images, and I relish the thought of gathering new memories. It's just too bad that I can't grow another head to store more information...
Well, I think it's time for this old man to get his mee-mees. Goodnight everybody.... everybody everywhere... Goodnight!
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